This story seemed promising and the reviews were fantastic so I was surprised that it was such a disappointment. We all have different tastes and I’m sensitive to criticism as a writer myself so I try to keep it constructive and usually don’t even post reviews here for things I really don’t like. I feel the need to post this one though, because it almost seems like the reviews were for a completely different book so I feel cheated.
The biggest issue was the stilted speech and odd speech patterns. They’re terribly distracting and the editing could be better. I got the impression that American English isn’t the writer’s best language so maybe this is very well done in British English and I’m just an uncultured buffoon. If that’s the case, include it in the description.
The fact that they seem to be talking about soccer but calling it football makes that seem like the most likely explanation too, yet everything about the story seems to indicate it’s happening in the US. Except in the US, everyone refers to it as soccer and soccer games, never football or football match so it’s just really confusing. There are also gaps in what’s happening, like we’re supposed to know something but it was edited out then mentioned offhand. Nothing flows here.
It’s an interesting premise but the execution doesn’t work. The serial format isn’t my preference either so there’s zero chance I’d pay to read more of this and honestly wouldn’t read more even if it were free from KU.
The Revenge Plan 1
by Dina Rask
Book 1 of 5
I am the football captain, with power, wealth and have the most popular cheerleader as my girlfriend.
My life seems to be the perfect college superstar’s life, as it should be…
Until this new girl shows up in class.
And she looks so familiar. I know her from somewhere.
I don’t care for her much, but this feeling of knowing . . .
Then it gets to me.
I realize this is the girl who broke my family. In return I will break her heart . . .
I am new in town.
I hate this moving around, but mom keeps telling me we were not safe at the last place.
She won’t tell me why.
So here we are again.
A new town, new school, new friends to make.
And there is that boy… Adrian…
My new friends tell me to stay away.
But I can feel within me something pulling me towards him . . .